You're on a dating app like Say Allo swiping away until you finally see someone who catches your fancy. In your eyes they are a vision and they sound like a great person too. You eagerly swipe right on them and lo and behold they're interested in you too and you're matched!
Typically this opportunity should be exciting because we can now explore the potential with this new person but a lot of daters find making the first move intimidating. Not only that they need to come up with a clever one-liner that captures their matches attention and gets a response.
Ideally all your matches would message first and what would ensue is fun and engaging banter that sparks attraction and leads to deeper conversations. Unfortunately that's not how things work. Men who are traditionally expected to reach out first feel this pressure deeply.
If you want to take things to the next level whether that be a video date or meeting IRL you need to have a conversation to determine if that's something both of you want. Verbal flirtation is no longer a nicety but a required part of modern courtship and an art that should be mastered.
And here's where things get a little tricky: How do you begin a conversation with a total stranger in a way that would make you stand out from the online dating crowd? What's the bait you can use to hook their attention and get them chatting with you not to mention like you even more?
There are some people who have a natural gift of the texting gab but it's a skill set that the majority of people have to work on. It's something you have to continually work at and eventually you'll develop a smooth writing flow in your online conversations.
Instead of using boilerplate ice-breakers tailor and customize what you write based on each match's profile. Put some thought into what you type. Remember that you're communicating with an actual person and you need to show you care about them and their unique interests.
You might not always have the time or be in the right frame of mind to come up with the perfect quip but if you really like someone it might be worth waiting until you are.
But if you're inner-Shakespeare refuses to wake up and you're having a tough time coming up with a good conversation starter these six ideas will help you get started with writing something original. Say good-bye those boring and cheesy one-liners and wow your matches with these zingers courtesy of Say Allo's dating intelligence team!
Before saying anything that's profile-specific do your homework to spot the best thing to bring up. Read their profile and see if anything stands out. Look at their photos as well is there anything interesting or unusual about the settings or facial expressions? Personalizing your ice-breaker by asking about their interests or favorite movie band restaurant or destination builds instant connection. Paying attention to the details in their profile shows that you actually cared enough to read it and that you're interested in learning more about them as a person.
Who doesn't love a witty meme or gif? They've grown popular in social media because they feature characters and references from pop culture that everyone can relate to. The right memes and gifs are fun and light and can bring a smile to your person's face. It's an instant way to boost your likeability. Couple that with an original comment and you'll have your match hooked instantly. For example if you send a GIF of a happy puppy you can add a caption that says That's what I looked like when I saw your profile.
Some people view emojis as childish and immature but when used properly it can turbo-charge your dating game. It adds an element of playfulness which flirting should be all about. Think of emoji's as seasoning you can add to your text message to either spice things up or to create a slow burn of growing passion. It's a fantastic way of conveying emotions nuances and tones that can't be expressed in words. The only caveat is if you use emojis that confuse your match and you don't add some text to provide clarity and context. This could work against you so brush up on your emoji game before using this tactic!
Like something you see on your matches profile? Tell them! If you do start out your conversation with a compliment make sure you comment on something specific. Avoid generic and vague statements like You're so beautiful. Upgrade that by focusing on a specific feature such as you have beautiful brown eyes or I love your shiny blonde hair. Flattery will definitely perk your matches' attention but make sure you really mean it. Cheesy and overused pick-up lines will make you look like everyone else and give off player vibes and be off-putting to high-quality and intelligent daters.
This is a great option for an ice-breaker especially if your match seems like the bookish intellectual type. Get them thinking with a thought-provoking question. Say something like What do you think about fill the blank with a news story that's making headlines or causes they could be interested in. Follow up with your own response to the question. Getting their wheels turning right from the get go will build momentum in your conversation. Your question doesn't have to be complicated or deep it could be something as simple as what do you like to do on a rainy day like today?
Bring out the inner kids in both of you by starting your chat with a game. It's a fun way to get to know someone a little better and have a laugh together. But don't be surprised if seemingly innocent games such as Never Have I Ever Truth or Dare or This or That could lead into deeper and serious conversations. Try to keep things breezy and light in the early stages so that you don't intimidate your match. Humor and play come naturally to most of us and it will take the awkwardness out of your initial conversation.
Enjoy built-in video dating , and other great features such as compatibility reports by downloading Say Allo at JustSayAllo.com for free. Available for iOS and Android.
